A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Hate Election Campaigning

I'm a political scientist in that I love the business of politics. If I could have any job in the world (aside from working for ESPN or NFL films) I'd be on a PAC or working as a campaign manager.
I count every opportunity to vote as the privilege that it is. Little known but important fact: my father had to wait until he was 42 before the U.S allowed him to vote-even though he was an American citizen!! My father was born a black man in 1917 in a country where he was able to work in cotton fields at the ripe old age of 5 years old, but he couldn't vote until 42. History has recorded this painful piece of American history so I won't dig up old pains. I will say again that I vote to uphold the memories of all those black folk that paved the way for me and my generations.
I am a Promise. Somewhere, someone prayed that his or her children wouldn't have it as hard as they did, and that's me. A Promise kept by God that I would too 'hold these truths to be self-evident' and that I too could pursue 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' on my own terms. Don't worry, my rose-coloured glasses aren't real. I know all about the problems that still face Blacks and other minorities. My name's not Condoleeza (although I deeply admire and respect her and pray for her almost everyday).
Getting back to elections, they just bring out the worst in most of the candidates. Here in my state the Democratic governor is under siege by a mean and vile Republican opponent. He's not mean and vile because he's a Republican, he's mean and vile because he's using deliberate lies and half-lies to discount the governor.
Then we have two senators, again divided by Party who have moved way past mud-slinging-they've upped the ante to human fecal matter. And every TV commercial has the opponents and supporters telling me how to vote next Tuesday.
The money they're spending to lash out of each other is just phenomenal! I should work for a political campaign, I'd make better bucks:-) But boy, all the accusations and privacy intrusions these candidates put up with is too much for me to handle. I mean, some of these candidates have published thier opponent's bankruptcy filings, accused them of working for the mafia, of being too pro-Bush and not for the people. Aaauuuughhh! I have to turn the channel each time one of those commercials comes on because I know it's going to be some kind of election junk that I don't want to hear about.
And what happens after the elections? These same people are going to meet at a rally or government event one day. Will they shake hands and be amicable to each other? I don't think I could. If I were a candidate and my opponents have done to me what some have done, I couldn't sit in the same room and play nice. I'd be taking off my shoes to try and give a good beat down (Lord, forgive me) 'cause I'm not having all that!
I think about President Clinton (with his FINE self) and the former President Bush. They're traveling around the world together, Clinton says he loves Bush, they appear to be joined at the hip now. How is this possible with all the mud-slinging these two did in '92? To use a term lightly, 'strange bedfellows indeed'!
So next Tuesday, before work I'm going to my polling place, proudly display my ID and enter to vote on the largest number of ballots in state history. And I'm going to do it because I believe my vote will count, I want my voice to be heard, and for the memory of my daddy.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A Message to My Nieces

Hello ladies, my girls. I love each of you, from Tracy all the way down to Zanae and I wish the best for each of you. I remember all the fun we had while you were growing up. All the wisdom I tried to share with you, how I tried to keep you from pain and harm. I wish you all hadn't grown up so quickly, but because our relationships have matured as well as our bodies and minds, our relationships have just gotten sweeter.
Some of you have told me how much I added to your lives w/my constant preaching about education, sexual diseases and following Christ. And just as I taught you then, I wish I could be there for the other battles and hurts you'll endure in this life. I want to share additional information I've picked up over the years. Glean from it what you find valuable, discard the other or pass it on to your daughters.
Live a Little Dangerously
Don't live life constantly looking over your shoulder, and jumping at shadows. I've done that and I think I could have done so much more if I had just closed my eyes and leapt. I think of all the opportunities I passed up because I was afraid of the newness, afraid to leave Momma, afraid to leave the church, afraid to leave the job. Now I'm facing uncertainty at work, even though I've been the model employee. Maybe I should have left the company and found something I really liked doing but wanting to be safe I stayed there. I'll never get those years back, but I can tell you--don't remain loyal to a company. Go out there and find a job that pays more or gives more personal fulfillment. Love the brother even if the brother is not a black brother. If he loves and cherishes you, is kind and sees you for the valuable human you are, don't wait for that other brother when love's staring you right in the face.
Share Love With People Who Are Worthy of It
If your're sharing love and time with people who make you feel it's a privilege and don't return it, kick them to the curb! 'Do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200.' Your life's too short and your love's too valuable to throw it away on some jerk who doesn't value it.
In All Thy Ways Acknowledge Him
For He shall direct thy path. I've tried Him and I know Him. I've found Him to be a friend. I know too much about Him, on Him I can depend. I don't care what comes and goes: heartaches, disappointments, disease and even death. You won't find anybody, nobody like Jesus. I've had to trust God with less than mustard seed faith. I've had to encourage myself when I felt He had forgotten me. When life threw me aside and hated on me. When I saw dreams fade. When I felt unworthy of even Him helping me. There's nobody like Jesus and you won't get anywhere if you don't carry Him with you. Living for Jesus will pay for itself afterwhile. I can promise you this, He won't ever fail. We fail and fall down. Not Him. He's the same when you were growing up at Faith Tabernacle, He's the same today at the Ministries, and He'll be the same when you are Pastors and Bishops (c'mon, y'all know you're annointed and waiting to be appointed).
Go See the World
YOU go! Don't read about it on the Internet or view it while leafing through a travel mag. Buy the ticket, buy the digital camera, order the passport, pack a medical kit and GO! I know you've been in several States, and I know Bean's been to Japan and Europe but the rest of you go and see the other parts of the world God created. Don't worry about all the hype about terrorism. Think about the neighbourhoods you've grown up in and all the places you had to walk through. If you can survive all that, going around the world is nothing. Oh yeah, don't forget to email those pictures via email or your personal blog.
Rear Your Children the Right Way
Just like my aunts had hands in rearing me and instilling in me life's morals and lessons, so give I you to give to your nieces and nephews and children. Rear your children knowing who God is and why we believe in Him. Teach them how to act while out shopping. Help them with their homework and praise them when they've done well. Be a disciplinarian when it's time and a friend when it's time to be a friend. Use an iron hand but sometimes cover it with a soft mitten. Teach them how to save money and show them why a higher education is a debt we owe all those Black folks who marched in Selma, hung from trees in Georgia, were spit on while trying to integrate schools in Arkansas, were arrested for not refusing to give up their seats on buses, and those who were refused service at lunch counters. Tell your children this is why we encouraged higher education because we owe so much.
To borrow from the Bard: "To thine own self be true!" Don't worry that you don't look like the latest starlet. Don't worry that you didn't get a degree from an Ivy League institution or that you weren't part of an elite sorority. Don't worry that you were reared by a single mother on welfare and food stamps. Let all that stuff go. Look in the mirror and love yourself. You're beautiful in whichever skin shade you're wrapped in. You're unique and should be proud of your uniqueness. Celebrate it and cherish it! Live life as full as you can because you know what? One day it will all be over. And girls, this is not a rehearsal.
I have my regrets now but if the Lord gives me strength I'm gonna do a bit more living and a bit less being frightened. I've seen too much of what the Lord can do so why should I fear when He is near? God cares for me and He cares for you too. I love you. Here's a bbbbbiiiiiiiggggg kiss!

Monday, October 23, 2006

I Will Sing of the Lord's Goodness Toward Me

"IT is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul, therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him." (Lamentations 3:22-25)
Talk about a tough couple of days. I've missed doing this, letting my frustrations flow through my fingertips. Rather, I stewed and beat myself up. Told myself that I have no value, that I'm fat, old and stupid. I've reached for every chocolate bar and slice of pumpkin bread within two miles and stuffed them into my mouth, realizing that the comfort I found in in them would be fleeting.
I was over at Pea's tonight and saw this amazing scripture! How did He know I'd need her to post that to remind me that these worldly troubles will not consume me? Why did it take her being hated on to help my mind tonight? Rather than stew about my troubles, I think I'll bless the Lord!
I have the activity of my limbs. Eyesight. A family that loves me. A good-paying job (although this is the source of my frustration, anger and unhappiness). I have good health considering my weight and age. A new notebook. Free printer/scanner/copier. A friendly mailman who leaves packages on the porch because he knows we'll get them. A great new car that I LOVE! Clothes on my back, shoes on my feet. My own bedroom. The right to vote (which I use EVERY election). And most of all-I know Jesus as a Saviour and a healer.
SONGS FOR HIM (sorry, don't know the authors to these songs):
''He gave me life one day in my mother's womb. He gave me life all the way from an empty tomb. He took my place on Calvary, they crucified Him instead of me. If He doesn't do anything else, He's done enough! He's done enough! He's done enough. He's done so much more than I deserve. You know, my life was such a disgrace, but Jesus died in my place. If He doesn't do anything else, He's done enough."
"I can never repay You Lord for what You've done for me. How You loosed my shackles and You set me free. How You made a way out of no way, turned my darkness into day. Gave me joy in the time of sorrow, hope for my tomorrow. Peace in the midst of storm, strength when I'm weak and worn. You've been so faithful!"
"Who am I that You are thinking of me? That You hear me when I call? It's amazing!"
"There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus. No, not one. None else can heal all our soul's diseases. No, not one. Jesus knows all about our struggles and He will abide 'til the day is done. There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus. No, not one."
"What a friend we have in Jesus! All our sins and griefs to bear. What a priviledge it is to carry everything to God in prayer. O, what peace we often forfeit. O what needless pains we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer."
"So many wonderful things about Jesus, so many wonderful things about Him. His name is Wonderful. He's a wonderful counselor. So many wonderful things about Jesus, so many wonderful things about Him."
"I will dance, I will sing and be crazy for the King. Nothing Lord is hindering this passion in my soul. And I'll become even more undignified than this!"
"I've found a friend who is all to me, and His love is ever true. I love to tell how He lifted me and what His love can do for you. I'm saved by His power devine, saved to a new life sublime. Life now is sweet and my joy is complete for I'm saved! Saved! Saved!"
"Hallelujah for the Lord our God, the Almighty reins! Great is He! He's the King of kings and the Lord of lords, He is wonderful! Hallelujah for the Lord our God the Almighty reins!"
"Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so"
"Lord how increased are they that trouble me. Many are they that rise up against me. Many are they which say of my soul, "there is no hope for him in God." But Thou oh Lord are a shield for me, my shelter and a lifter-up of my head! I cried unto the Lord with my voice and He heard me out of His holy hill. I lay me down and slept. I awake for the Lord sustained me."
"God sent His Son, they called Him Jesus. He came to save, heal and forgive. He bled and died just to buy my pardon. An empty grave is there to prove my Saviour lives. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know Who holds my future, my life is worth the living just because He lives!"
"Can't nobody do me like Jesus. Can't nobody do me like the Lord. Can't nobody do me like Jesus, He's my friend."
"And the angels called Him Jesus. Born of a Virgin. Mary called Him Jesus, but I call Him Lord."
"O sweet wonder, Jesus the Son of God. O sweet wonder, Jesus the Son of God."
"My soul loves Jesus.
He's a wonder in my soul.
My soul seeks to please Him.
My hope is in the Lord."
"Lord You've made a way when there was no way. Lord You turned my night's darkness into day. Lord You've picked me up, turned my life around. Lord You've filled my cup, broke that fallow ground. Lord You've brought me out, I don't have a doubt. Waymaker!"
See, I feel better already! This is what David meant when he told us we would have to encourage ourselves. I couldn't call my friends because they're busy. Couldn't tell my sister because she has more problems than me. Told my mom who rebuked me and reminded me that Saints rest in the Lord during times of trouble and storm. Thank God for saved mommas and Pea. And Ester. And December, Loretta, Venus, Niece, Rachel, Joyce, Sheila, Joel, Timothy, Mooka, Monet, David J., David P., Arturo, Linda, Angela, Pete, Teresa and each of you who have blessed me.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

With All Due Respect to Donovan McNabb's Mother

I got my feelings hurt today. Really hurt! Here I was going through my day thinking I was looking particularly fly. Hair all done and shining, had polished my shoes, took a bit of extra time w/the makeup (thin layer of Clinique foundation in #50, Hard Candy eye shadow on lids, Clinique bronzer on the cheeks and forehead, Clinique glosswear lipgloss in #406, seventeen layers of Volumptuous mascara), I was looking GOOD!
After surviving another day of the twenty-five minute commute with Vickie Winans blasting from all five speakers, found a pretty good parking space that was walkeable (long time readers know I've lost about 32 lbs and can walk a lot better than a year ago), the weather's fine, Vickie Winans' "He loves me" is still in my head and I'm enjoying Jesus, hallelu!
So I get into the office and I'm still on my little high. Smiling at everyone, just glowing. One of my peers has a gorgeous friend who sometimes stops by to shoot the breeze and test my football knowledge. This man could be talking about anything, I wouldn't care as long as he's looking at me and talking to me (sigh). So, we're talking and laughing about whatever and Gorgeous Guy tells his friend, my peer-"she reminds me of Donovan McNabb's mother."
Boy did I have to inhale and exhale quickly. Don't get me wrong, Donovan's momma looks good too, but I thought I was looking GOOD! And not like somebody's momma either. We carried the joke along and I pretended to be pretending to be angry. But that remark really stung!
Actually, that comment did two things: 1)it made me realize that Gorgeous Guy is coming over to talk shop because I am really one of the guys, and 2)it poured cold water on any kind of delusions I may have had about being attractive to these guys. Now I find myself liberated from having to quickly reach for my lipgloss whenever I see GG approaching. I know now he's coming just to talk shop and nothing more. This doesn't mean I won't still pull out the makeup. 'Cause I know I look good w/my fat butt!
Speaking of Donovan McNabb, how long will it take for him to move out of Terrell Owens' shadow? Why do sportscasters still talk about Owens when discussing Donovan? Leave Owens in hell where he is and let's give more lip service to the great Mr. McNabb. Wonder if Donovan likes big women?

Monday, October 16, 2006

This is Too Much! Weird News and Other Absurdities

Ran over this stuff at MSNBC.com, my favourite hangout when I'm not reading your blogs. Seems famous people are really just as crazy as the media portrays them. Mind you, I'm not a true believer of everything I read or hear from the hundreds of thousands of tv shows dedicated to broadcasting every private act celebrities commit. I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch less than 3 hours of television per week. Primarily because I don't see many characters that look like me (short, Black, fat, educated, working professional, not a drug user or homewrecker, no sassy-hand-on-hip-I-mean-business gal), most of the shows are about doctors, hospitals, doctors in hospitals, people who work for hospitals, people who are thin, blond and wildly successful before age 35. In my world, many of the people are overweight, they have to work long hours for minimum pay, some of them have to catch the bus to work and they're older than 35 and still not managers and judges and Unit Leaders. But enough of my viewing preferences.
I see Madonna's decided to follow Angelina Jolie's lead and adopt an African bambino. Does this mean adopting Black kids is the new accessory? Wow. Anyway, the baby's daddy wants his child back. Madonna's having baby daddy drama, hee hee.
Then I hear Mike Tyson's out on tour and says he'll fight women. What? He wasn't paid enough when he was pushing Robin Givens through walls and over chairs? Please Mike, go back into hiding like you were and leave us good citizens alone. Freak.
Did anyone watch the "60 Minutes" interview with the alleged Duke rapists? Neither did I. This is one of those stories as old as time and it will never change. Unless that girl had someone tape what happened, we'll never know who's telling the truth. I will admit when I first heard the story and found out she was a dancer, I thought "Oh well, that's what you get when you make a living dancing nude for drunken men." And because she didn't take anyone w/her to watch for her made me think she was lying. But then, the more I thought about it, the more angrier I became. I believe that a woman, no matter her profession, should be protected from being raped, beaten and robbed. So I don't know which side is wrong. I do know that those boys will now have this rap follow them for a long time. But hey, they're young and rich, something tells me they'll survive this.
Finally, pet owners were suckered into paying $4k to have Fido and FiFi become famous. When it didn't happen, they sued. Wow. You actually think your pet is worth $4k for training to become famous? Maybe you should send me $4k, I'll make you AND your animal famous!
'Night all!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Seeing the Ghosts of My Past

I keep seeing ghosts. I see them while I'm driving. I see them in the morning after awaking. I see them at my job and sometimes I hear them speaking when I'm all alone.
I've never been afraid of ghosts and spirits because we were brought up believing God was a Spirit and if we got saved we'd be filled w/the Holy Ghost. And all the Bible stories talked about ghosts and spirits and other beings walking the earth and such.
I don't see very many movies and none of those I see are the horror type and I don't read horror fiction. I think the only Stephen King I ever read was about the end of time and how the world would be divided between good and evil. The evil people went to Vegas, the good went to see an old Black lady who lived in a corn field. Thanks Steve for keeping Black people in the fields.
I tried to read that 'Vampire in Paris' book but could only muster enough strength and interest to read two chapters. So being scared of ghosts was never a problem for me. These ghosts I'm seeing are those people that lived, or they're short pieces of my memory.
I keep thinking I've seen a childhood friend who died two years ago. I thought I saw her crossing the street and I got spooked because she looked so much like her. About two Sundays ago I thought I saw two old Mothers who have been gone so long I still don't know why I did a double take when I thought I saw them walking into the church.
And my dreams lately have been filled w/the dead. My grandfather and father. My uncle Al. Each time, although the dreams are different they have the same theme...leaving for a trip or traveling. Some of the dreams about my father are violent-we're arguing back and forth or I'm hitting him. Something I'd never do in this lifetime. My grandfather's always in a car waiting for me to take him somewhere. Uncle Al just shows up and is waiting, not say much, just waiting.
Now I know what you're thinking-don't eat so much before going to bed. You know that I'm still on this diet so the heaviest food I've eaten by bedtime is yogurt or dry cereal. It could be because I'm under a bit of stress at work. I have a new boss, my team's performance is low, our new VP wants the heads of every low performer and I'm still waiting for approval for WLS.
It also could be because I'm just missing old times. Who knows? I'm just hoping the ghosts will go back to where they belong and out of my head.

Monday, October 09, 2006

No One Wants to Be Held Accountable

I'm still shaking my head in disbelief over the whole Senator Foley mess and all the excuses he keeps coming up with being a pedophile and pervert. First the pages led him on. Then he did it because he's an alcoholic. Then it's because he was sexually molested by priests when he was young. Now he's come out of the closet. Foley, you're a sicko and you should be locked up. If I were the parent of the involved pages, I'd be finding some high profile lawyer and quick!
Someone else who doesn't want to be held accountable are parents of bad kids. No one wants to be a parent anymore! Everyone wants to be a friend, buddy and pal. Listen, your bad children need to be disciplined and taught morals. Last week we saw so much school shootings and killings. Today a kid walks into his school with an AK! How in the heck can a 15-yr old get his hands on an AK? Not only should that kid be locked up a good long time, his parents should also do time for allowing him access to that type of powerful weapon. The police say the kid had a whole bunch of weaponry instructions w/him. How come his parents didn't know about this stuff? I agree w/Madea when she says she goes through backpacks and everything else young children have in her house because she wants to make sure she knows what they're doing.
You hear all the time people not wanting to be responsible for their acts. "It's not my fault I was driving drunk. The bar should have stopped allowing me to drink." You're right, the bar should have thrown you out the first minute you slurred your words when ordering another drink. "No one told me eating out at fast food restaurants would give me a 500lb butt!" Sorry hon, everybody knows supersizing meals will also supersize your dress size, shoe size, panty size and coffin size. "My son can't read because of the poor curriculums at public school." No, darling, Jr. can't read because you've bought him all those Xbox games and when he should be studying he's playing video games.
Ultimately, we're each going to be held accountable for where we spend eternity. We're going to have to tell God the reasons we weren't faithful, just and holy when we see Him on That Day. What are you going to tell Him? Tell Him you've been dancing on the ballroom floor and couldn't take time out to save your soul? Will you tell Him you were gambling and couldn't throw away the dice? You couldn't take time out to save your life? Maybe you'll tell Him you were too busy going to the ball games, running w/Jane, Kate and Scott to slow down and read His Word?
People, the ultimate responsibility for making it in lies with you. No one else. So when He calls you and you're standing before Him, remember I told you so.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Aunt Grat

I have a favourite aunt, we call her Aunt Grat. Actually I have four favourite aunts but whenever I think of the one aunt that made great impressions on me, it always comes back to Grat.

Aunt Grat and my grandfather moved to Boise, ID when I was 9 years old and when there were VERY FEW Black people living there. My siblings and I eagerly awaited the arrival of summer because it meant my parents would soon be loading up the car and driving us up to Boise to spend the summer. I guess that's when my love for traveling was first realized-during the daylong drive from the shimmering lights of Vegas, through the quiet plains of Ely on through Wells, the breathtaking mountains of Twin Falls and then finally cool Boise. Well, at least cool in relation to my hot state. Depending on my father's work schedule, my parents usually stayed in Boise a week or a few days, hugged us and gleefully headed back home knowing no children for a full month. Sometimes I wonder whose smiles were largest-us kids or our parents.
Each summer my two siblings would move in to Aunt Grat's and Uncle Al's house which already was filled w/her three children, my Aunt Mary's three, any other friends that wanted to spend the night or summer and my two siblings. I went to my own personal Heaven-Big Daddy's house.
Big Daddy lived about six or seven minutes from Aunt Grat but to me it was a whole other world. There were no eight to ten noisy kids arguing about the tv, waiting for the bathroom, grabbing for food then disappearing when chores were due. At Big Daddy's two-story Victorian there was just me, Big Daddy, Big Momma Nancy (Big Daddy's 4th wife) and Unc Artus.
After chores, I would hide away down in Big Daddy's basement and plow through issue after issue of Nat'l Geographic. Big Daddy knew I loved to read and fondly told me that not only did I resemble his first wife appearance-wise, but I also had the love of reading that she had. Each week Big Daddy would visit the neighbourhood thrift store and bring new copies of Nat'l Geo and chuckle when I would advise him that I had completed the last stash.
I loved that old basement. It was always cool and smelled of wet earth. Although you could hear people walking above, only when they opened the door and hollered down at you could you hear voices. The rare times when the other grands would descend upon my Heaven, they would go down into the basement then come out creeped out because of the dankness and darkness. Everything I loved about it.
Big Daddy's gone, Unc Artus too. Big Momma and the house w/the wonderful basement is also gone. Aunt Grat's still here though, thank God! I started this thing about Aunt Grat so let's get back to her. Time has not been good to her. Diabetes has taken hold of her body and become a horrible tenant. The brown eyes that could see a lie from across the street have become dim and watery. The 5'8'' lean frame that could stand precariously close to the edge and pull a 3 pound perch from the fast moving Snake river has leaned and slowed, requiring a walker. The mind that could tell the best jokes and mind teasers has dulled to mumbles and rambling sentences. One thing that hasn't slowed or been reduced due to illness is her love for God and His Commandments.
Since I was able to comprehend, Aunt Grat has loved the Lord w/all of her heart, mind and body. She was faithful to the Church and every pastor. She attended all services and made us attend too. Every cousin and sibling knew that going to church Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays was a requirement, no discussion. She worked hard in the church, cooking and selling chicken dinners to raise money for the church. Organizing concerts, picnics, fishing contests, anything to help the church.
She became the State Supervisor of Women when her Supervisor left the position. Knowing there would be times of struggle ahead, Aunt Grat forged ahead into the vineyard to do the work of the Lord, her eyes fixed firmly on the Cross. She traveled across Idaho and other states to support church work and church leaders, although most of the time none of the oh so important church folks came up to Idaho to help her. She dragged us to sing in prisons, to work revivals by leading the testimony and praise services, help w/the sick and shut in and everything else she thought we needed to do.
After a new bishop came in, he quickly sought to kick Grat out on her behind and he succeeded-the hoe-chasing, alcoholic fake that he is. And all those church folks (notice I'm not calling them Saints because Saints wouldn't treat her like this) that she ran up and down the highway helping? You guessed it, no where to be found. They're too important to talk to Grat now that she's no longer a State Supervisor and suffering from failing health. Now that she can't drop dollars in their offerings and we're not there as professional slaves, they don't need her.
So, most days Grat sits at home listening to Gospel DVDs or The Word tv programs. Her house is now quiet because all of us have grown and moved on...even her three children are out of state or out of touch. My aunt Minnie has now become Grat's care provider, herself ailing from diabetes. And after Uncle Al died, Grat became the pastor of the church but that too is in poor health. Most time the attendance at the church is no more than Aunt Mary, Aunt Minnie and Aunt Grat and one or two more members.
Rather than throwing in the towel and just staying home, Grat continues to serve the church as faithfully as her health will allow. She continues to press her way to the church just in case someone comes who needs comforting, prayer or just to see how she's doing. And although she can no longer see the words of the Bible, she is able to deliver her messages from the pages written on the tablet of her heart. When others would have long given up and given in to hatred and resentment, she has remained humble and faithful. She is stedfast and unmovable, always abounding in the works of the Lord because she believes her labour is not in vain---up the road is eternal gain.
I only hope that when I am faced w/the same troubles thrown into Aunt Grat's life, that I will be able to fight on like she has. I can only hope.