A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

I used to work w/a girl, I'll call her Jenna. She and I met while working in a call center and hit it off almost immediately because we both hated the same people:-), we each liked fashion and reading mysteries and we were both minorities in the company. Donja met a guy (let's call him Crane) and fell head over hills in love w/him. Crane was about 5 or 6 years younger than Jenna but they seemed to care a lot for each other, enough to begin living together and planning their wedding. Well, as the wedding neared and plans began being finalized, Crane became very nervous and decided to call of the wedding. Jenna, being heartbroken and distraught, and heeding her mother's advice, went over to Crane's home one evening and threw her wedding dress at his feet and stomped off. Crane felt pretty bad about everything and didn't want to lose Jenna so they agreed to run off to Vegas and get married.

After about 4 years and two beautiful children later, I thought they had begun settling into married life. Jenna was able to stay at home w/the children and could pursue her outside hobbies and everything looked fine to my naked eye (I was over very often visiting)but things started looking fishy to me.

One month I called and left several messages but never received answers to my calls. I thought maybe they were too busy and would get around to calling me because we rarely ever went one week w/o speaking to each other. One day, acting on a chance that Jenna may be home I called and Crane answered. I asked him where they had been and he proceeded to tell me quite graphically the happenings of his life & marriage.

Seems Jenna had decided she'd had enough w/Crane and decided to pursue extramarital affairs w/men she had met while pursuing hobbies. I was so shocked by this and also that he was telling me all this. He gave me Jenna's cell # and I called. Jenna acted as if nothing had happened, not knowing Crane had explained that she had moved out a few weeks ago w/her lover. When I told her what Crane had confessed to me, she became rough and short and pretty much hung up on me. That's been about nine years ago and tonight I was wondering what ever had happened to Jenna and Crane and the children. Were they able to patch things up and live happily ever after or are they divorced?

The reason they popped in to my head is because I know another couple who are living my idea of a dream life but because they're unable to remain monogamous, their marriage may be ending.

They have a beautiful home, beautiful children, drive beautiful cars, have beautiful incomes and what every person would want but they're about to lose it all because of sex. I don't know or understand the power that drives a person to cheat on a spouse but it's got to be as powerful as a drug addiction because these people are jeopardizing their future income, the health of their children, their family units, all for an orgasm.

I know that people change. I know that people grow apart. But what about your vows? What about your children? If this isn't the highest form of self-gratification or selfishness I've ever known, I don't know what is. This is especially true in the Church.

I've never known so many divorced christians as know. And guess what folks, they still attend the same church! How's that possible? I've heard of one bishop who has two ex-wives that still attend his church although he's remarried for the 3rd time! Sick!! He's up there preaching about love and overcoming all obstacles while 3 women who've been intimate w/him look at him and probably say "Amen".

Looking for love in all the wrong places. God is love. That body and those orgasms will fail one day and where will you be? How many regrets of how you discarded your marriage to chase that 'true' love will plague you daily?