Stop Bugging Me!

I hate bugs! Except for caterpillars and spiders, I am afraid of every bug. You'd think, being a desert baby with its plethora of bug and insect species, I'd be used to them by now. Not so, and my exterminator will attest to the amount of money I've spent over the years to help rid my home of bugs. I remember receiving a postcard from Disneyland thanking me for my bug phobia. I'm expecting to receive graduation invitations in a few years. But I digress.

Of all the bugs/insects I hate the most, crickets, roaches and cockroaches frighten me the most. Now on the reason for the post....

Tuesday morning started like any normal day. I awoke and enjoyed a leisurely cup of tea and read the newest Ebony magazine. Got in the shower and lathered myself up with my favourite bath soap (Caress). Everything's great, right? I turn around to get my awesome battery operated shower brush with the changing heads (you really should try one of these, especially if there's no one to wash your back for you) when I noticed a huge black CRICKET trying to crawl up the side of the tub!! I give a little yelp because I don't want to disturb Wooka and Momma, (and because I don't want to hear them laughing at me) and try to figure out how to get him out of the shower without him touching me. I move the shower curtain around to try and guide him toward the drain when I see the SECOND BLACK CRICKET!! This time I scream, tear open the curtain and high-tail it out of that shower in record fat girl time! Leaving a trail of soap lather.

So now I'm in a terrible predicament...there are two crickets in MY warm shower, I'm standing in an ever growing puddle of sudsy water and I have to rinse. So, I turn off the cold water and blast those bugs with boiling hot water and queasily watch them boil and go down the drain.

After I'm sure they won't be back up the drain I get back in the shower and try to rinse as quickly and as completely as is possible in tepid water.

Later I discover soap still behind my ears, my neck and other places I hadn't rinsed. I should have gone outside and rinsed with the water hose as cold as that water now was coming out of the shower.

The next time I showered I made sure there were no unwanted visitors to bug me while showering.

PS-I tried to use a picture of crickets but couldn't, they made me too squeamish!

Potty Humour

At the risk of running my regular readers away, I'm posting about some of the ideas or thoughts that generally pass through my small brain about public restrooms. No, my sense of humour is not going down the toilet (pun intended), I just have these thoughts and wondered if it's just me.

First off, let me announce that I have a strong aversion or dislike to using public restrooms. My immediate family and some close friends understand that I usually don't eat any spicy or drink more than a bottle of water in order to prevent causing any use of public restrooms. I have been known to drive home, then go out again, especially when I really have to go. So, what about working 10-12 hours a day, what do I do then? Well yes, I have to use the restrooms but I still don't like it.

Here's a thought:

-why is it, that when you really have to go and you need as much privacy as possible, that even though you've chosen the very last stall in a room of twelve working stalls, someone will come and use the one right next to yours? Sometimes I want to say to that person "You passed up all those stalls to come to this one right next to mine? Go away! I'm gonna blow in one minute and you'll be sorry!"

And another:

-why is it that the one time you've held off going because you were busy, when you finally get a chance to go, the cleaning crew has decided to close the restroom at that exact time?

Still another:

-if women are the cleaner sex, why are our public restrooms so filthy? Ours doesn't look like that at home, or does it?

One more:

-why do women use cell phones while on the john? Do you really need to let your caller hear you flush? You're gross and inconsiderate.

And the last:

-why do people have phone sex in a public restroom? Is there nothing too weird or wild anymore? This has actually happened to me and here come the explicit details....turn away now or don't leave nasty comments:-).

So I'm sitting in the stall, about 9:30 one night. Restroom traffic is light because it's late right? I'm in the handicapped stall 'cause it's roomier and it's situated at the end of a long v-shaped restroom. This hoochie comes in and I guess didn't check for any visible feet because I hear her go into a stall close the door and say, "Hold on."

I hear the zipper and rather than hearing the sounds of a woman using the restroom, I hear her say in a low voice,

"Okay, do it baby. Talk to me now." So you know my interest is piqued now, right?

"Yeah baby, two fingers now, I'm so ready for you!" Now she's breathing loud and hard and grunting and growling.

Now I'm thinking, (a) who is this skank and (b) she'd better not be one my direct reports! I hurriedly flush and get out of the stall waiting for little Miss Jenna Jameson to show her face.

Well, I guess she knows I'm waiting because I hear her pulling up her clothes but she doesn't come out. I lean against the counter and wait, I ain't got nothing but time. Finally the stall opens and it's one of my peers! What?!

She's all casual, speaks to me as if I hadn't just overheard her getting her jollies off, washes her hands and leaves the room with her head held high! What the what?!

Did I mention I hate using public restrooms?

From Every Mountain Side, Let Freedom Ring!

THIRTEEN QUOTES BY REV MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

1. "All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality."

2. "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

3. "It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important."

4. "Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true."

5. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

6. "Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars...Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

7. "Segregation is the adultery of an illicit intercourse between injustice and immorality."

8. "We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

9. "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

10. "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
11. "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."

12. "Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: -'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'"

13. "...and I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. So I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man." This is Rev King's last public speech before being assassinated.

TGSC-Thank God Saturday's Coming!

I will have officially worked nine straight days, if I see tomorrow.

My room is a mess, the sink is full of dirty dishes, my dirty laundry is spilling out of my closet, I now share my bed with a laundry basket of clean undies, an overnight case that should be packed and stored, my diet has consisted of fast food or anything that won't spill while I'm driving to and from work.

Friday I will leave my laptop docked on top of my desk, I will pack my briefcase with my Franklin Daytimer, one planning deck, some Equal packets from the cafeteria and two memos that pertain to the deck.

Upon leaving work I will immediately pick up my niece "Butterfly" and my nephew "Mooka" and go to dinner.

Saturday I will awaken (if the Lord says the same), pack up the kids and go find yard sales, stop at the park and try to find a kite.

Saturday afternoon sometime we'll nap (because all that running around is sure to wear me out) then I will wash laundry, move some of that stuff off my bed so I won't have to sleep in a fetal position, get up to bake cookies with cookie cutters bought during the holiday sales, cook black beans and cornbread and squash. I'm trying new recipes.

Sunday we will arise (the good Lord willing) and attend church, then hurry to the grocery store for ingredients for next week's lunch. Then I will casually watch football while playing with the kids while cooking lunch. I'm pretty sure it will be the Patriots and the Packers meeting here next month, but since the 'Boys are out, the thrill is sorta gone. This was our year, you know?

Sunday night when the kids are returned to their mother I will try to read the afore-mentioned deck organize those memos and start on one of my new Robert Parker novels.

And then Monday I'll try to do it all over again, but only in five day increments. What are you planning on doing this weekend?

Star Light, Star Bright

What did you do last night?

I lay in bed, listening to Chris Botti's new CD "Italia" on the ole iPod and watched the black sky with illuminated clouds slowly crawl across the sky moved by a gentle eastward breeze and wondered.

I wondered about bravery and the people who appear brave to me. Regulars to this site know that I dream of being a brave woman but still fall short. On the eve of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s holiday I wondered if I could ever be as brave as he and his wife. Or like Benazir Bhutto, Mother Theresa, Harriet Tubman. My mother. Our soldiers. I wondered what their secret was and how I could be like them.

I wondered about that single star that was shining back at me. I wondered how it could be so vibrant and brilliant, strong enough to shine through all the haze, light pollution and clouds to twinkle at me.

Then I set the iPod sleep timer to turn off in thirty minutes, closed the window and went to sleep.

Happy New Year!!

Okay, I'm a bit late with the New Year salutations. I have been to some to give my New Years' smooch. If I missed you, sorry, yours is coming up later.


So, what have I been up to? Pretty much nothing. My life's so boring right now I have to live vicariously through my neighbours, at least something's happening for them:-)

As mentioned in the Christmas blog all the nieces and nephews were here for Christmas-a truly rare occurance! I've loaded some of the pictures on my Flickr blog, You'll see the floor obscenely strewn with gift boxes. Some we couldn't even wrap! It's been a long time since our house looked like this but we had sooo much fun and thank God it was peaceful (most of the time).

New Year's Eve we began a new tradition. We ordered Chinese food, about six different dishes, rented some movies, two pints of ice cream (Butter Pecan, de riguer) and soda pop. We invited some of the girls to come after church service and they decided to come here rather than Watch Service. We ate, laughed, ate some more and laughed even more. You know, it's pretty impossible to watch a movie with five snickering and laughing Black women...it just can't be done. What a great way to being the New Year.

As a rule I don't make resolutions and I'm not going to start now. I will however make predictions. While lurking over at Pos', I read his predictions for 2007 and compared them to see how many had come true. So, without further ado, here are Debo Blue's predictions for 2008:

1) Citicorp will change its name to Citi-al Fayed

2) Bank of America will change its name to Bank of YHiMHN (Your Home is My Home Now)

3) Mandarin Chinese will become the official business language

4) Disney will begin a new channel to train teens on how to become drunks, floozies and permanent rehab fixtures

5) President Huckabee will orchestrate the complete withdrawal of troops from the Middle East

6) Steroid use in professional sports will be approved and accepted, leading to 6 ft 260 lb Little League players

7) Credit cardholders will receive two years' refunds of excessive fees after Congress changes fee structures

8) Oprah Winfrey will buy an island to train future policticians

9) Toyota will have a new US President, a black woman named Theola Johnson

10) Dave Baptista will move to Phoenix in search of his new bride (and I'll be camped out at his doorstep for a month). What? These are my predictions, remember?

Anyway, here's your New Year's kiss:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Cowboys lost to the New York Giants. Does anyone know how bad I'm feeling? Suffice it to say there's a whole lot of stuff I'd like to write about the 'boys, all of it bad!!!!!!