Sitting Here, Reflecting

All mental speeches will be positive!

2013 arrived at my house quietly.  Although surrounded by party revelers, firecrackers and a spattering of gun fire, it was an evening spent mentally preparing a list of things I want to happen in these upcoming twelve months, and yes, things I don't want to happen. Let me share my list with you:

THINGS I WANT TO HAPPEN

1.  Increase my finances. I spent every dime I got my grubby chubby hands on last year. Well, not really everything, I didn't go into my cash reserve, but I cleaned out my savings on my travels, hosting my 50th birthday party, buying my gifts, making repairs to the house. This year I have to return to my frugal ways if I want to recoup what was not saved. 

2.  Increase my physical endurance. About two years ago I learned to swim and began a program of water aerobics which is energizing!  This year I want to be more physically active on terra firma, without risking injury to my already arthritic joints. I was contemplating hiring a personal trainer or checking to see if physical therapy is covered under preventive coverage. The kids have a Wii game called "Just Dance" that I've enjoyed playing. It's a disk that has different dances at different levels and some of the dances are low impact or can be done while sitting. So, I'm gonna start moving to the grooving. I'll let you know how it goes.

3.  Take classes. Specifically photography and to learn another language. Last year I went to Italy and Spain and again marveled at the number of people who are proficient in several languages while most of the Americans with me were reduced to sign language, pointing or using translator apps to communicate to the locals. I've been a lover of photography since before I can remember. Before I was in high school I carried a camera everywhere. And in high school I took several photography classes. So may as well have fun while I learn something new.

4.  More house repairs. From painting to new carpets, new flooring, new bedroom sets, new curtains, new showers, new towels, a garden, new flower pots etc. 

THINGS I DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN

1.  Losing friends and family. Lord, my family needs a break. Death, two times last year, one month apart, is enough for a long time, don't You agree? So, I want a family reunion celebrating us, not a gathering to bury someone.

2.   Succumbing to negative thoughts and feelings. I've spent too many years mentally castrating myself for not being brave, for not losing weight, for not having children, for not completing my Master's degree, for not doing this, for not doing that. I'm 50 years old now. Middle-aged now. I've learned that all this negative history has not helped me grow, it has not incented me to change behaviours and it's retarded me. So this year, I'm done!  If it's not helping me, I'm not entertaining it. I don't want to be an old, bitter lady who looks back at her life and reflects only on what I didn't do.

So here is what I was thinking of New Years evening, before the bubbly was passed and before the Uno game got ugly.  Real ugly.

Taking charge and letting go!