A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Monday, August 17, 2009

A Day In My Life

3:15a-Too sleepy to keep reading. Detective Jury and his detecting must wait 'til tomorrow. Have to use the bathroom. The hall is eerily dark, can't understand this but too sleepy to find out why.

6:00a-Blackberry is beeping. Brother in Boise has just paged that my eldest aunt has been taken to the hospital. Two aunts in the same hospital. Stomach muscles tighten and it's hard to breathe.

6:25a-I need to sleep but now I'm hot and cold, tossing and turning. All these end of life thoughts are running through my head. What do I do now? Should I call brother or wait?

7:25a-Bean calls from FL. She's at Walmart picking up travel necessities. She's leaving for MN tonight and has to stock up. I tell her the bad news and ask her opinion on whether I should go to Boise. She says she'd do the same for me if I were in hospital and empathizes with me.

8:25a-Hang up from Bean and notice I've missed a text from SIL who's advising they've put eldest aunt on respirator and that eldest aunt's only daughter is motoring down from WA. Try to go back to sleep.

9:45a-Decide to clean the kitchen and make breakfast even though stomach still feels "nervous". Cook a turkey burger with two eggs. Stomach seems to agree. Now that the kitchen's clean, maybe a little nap?

10:00a-Answer land line. Why did I do that?? Goofy guy who's obviously more lonely than I because he rolling a mile a minute. I don't know this man from Adam, apparently this means nothing to him. He shares his ministry, his beliefs and his football-playing past w/me. Says he's played three years w/the Chiefs. I ask him who the quarterback was when he played. He can't remember. Please!! Finally I just tell him I'm hanging up the phone, that I'm praying for him and disconnect. That's 27 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

10:30a-Decide to pay a few bills and buy music recommended by Bean. Find Daniel Young and The Singletons on iTunes then decide to sync my iPhone and iPod. This requires a full update of music and playlists while popping in to Twitter to check out the news there. Maybe now I can take that nap.

11:25a-Brother needs to use my car to get some parts for his car. He's wondering why I look so tired. Didn't I sleep or am I too worked up? I try to explain but he's too interested in getting the parts. Since I can't sleep I read latest issue of Fortune especially the iPhone v Blackberry. I have to carry both and love them each but the Blackberry has my heart. Sort of like the Vikings and Cowboys. I love them but Dallas will win out every time.

1:15pm-After a quick, forgetful lunch of tilapia and broccoli I watch Arrested Development, then Mr.3000. Receive two separate texts from the Twins in Vegas about their leaving for Boise sometime this weekend, when are we planning on leaving? We discuss the algorithms necessary when making plans like this and agree that we can only wait and hope and pray and pray and pray.

4:40p-Brother brings dinner of greasy oysters and fries from Pete's. Just what my troubled stomach doesn't need but I eat the oysters anyway. I'm not too much of a fries lover so those go outside to the cats or birds. Whoever gets them first.

5:15p-Is it too late to try for that nap? I'm worn out. True to form, my skin is showing signs of stress. That, coupled with the spicy oyster sauce, hot cauliflower and lemons, should have me looking like a psoriasis victim.

6:30-BFF JT calls to ck up on me. I texted him and BFF ML the news about the aunts and he wants to know if I need anything. No, I'm fine. Stiff upper lip and all that crap I always do. If there's one trait that I have, it's being consistent.

6:45p-Talked to Chip in VA. His mom's the eldest aunt, he just needs to talk. His brother and sister have been speaking w/him throughout the day. He'll wait for their instructions before heading out. He's scared and worried. I've been right there but my mom was here w/me, not on the other side of the country.

7:15p-Decided to blog about this day. I've given up on sleep. Maybe I'll fold and put away some of these clothes and give myself a badly needed pedi. Night is falling. the sky's pink blush in the horizon and inky blue above. But instead of calming me, it's making me afraid of the sunrise. What if it brings news I'm just not ready to hear?


Blogger Jeni said...

Whatever the morning brings, I've no doubt that you will be "ready to bear it" and probably will be the rock the rest of your family will lean on too for much needed support, regardless of what the news is.
My prayers and my heart go out to you as you wait, watch and worry. Sometimes, the best we can do in situations like these are to do nothing -turn it over to the One who will handle it all for you and lead you on, as He has done for a long, long time now.
Peace, Debo.

August 18, 2009 6:15 PM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

I feel a Eurphoric feeling when I get to watch a sunrise. I don't get to see many right now because of the hill across the way... but there is that timeless feel of life... when the sun begins to burst through the sky. Embrace the new day.

August 24, 2009 5:59 AM  

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