A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The "I" Meme

Found this while surfing the blog world last night. Unfortunately I can't remember the site and don't feel like going to find it. Anyway, it's one of the truest for of narcissism known to us (aside from our blogs which is the supreme form of narcissism). It's a meme but I'm not tagging anyone except maybe Jeni.

I regret: that I have never been to Texas stadium to see the Cowboys play a live game. On Monday night.

I always: fall asleep to music. Not television or reading. Just something quiet and restful like classical or David Lanz (New Age).

I long to: rent a cottage in Vermont or Maine during the winter months and spend my time sipping hot chocolate or hot spicy tea, cooking rich, thick pot roasts and curling up with mags and books in front of a roaring fire.

I feel alone: sometimes in my political beliefs because I don't fit the average "black voter" model. I'm gonna support the candidate that I feel has his/her correct views on the issues, no matter which platform they represent.
I hide: behind my weight. It's a protection method I picked up a long time ago. Only therapy will help me overcome it now.

I drive: defensively and courteously. And I do the speed limit religiously. My car's equipped with one of those black boxes. Do I really want to give the insurance company reason to deny my claim if I'm involved in an accident?

I sing: all the time and everywhere. In the shower, in the car, in church, at work, in the grocery store. I just open my mouth and blow!

I dance: only behind closed doors. My church forbids dancing except in church, so I don't dance (publicly).

I write: all the time. I have this blog, another private blog, and a journal of poetry.

I breathe: heavily, especially after yelling and screaming while watching football. Watching David Baptista also affects my breathing, but that's another post;-)

I play: Puzzle Express or any Tetris-like game. I can really spend hours playing these types of games. I don't know how to play card games except Solitaire but get me in front of one of Tetris or puzzle express and I'm staying for hours.

I miss: my Aunt Grat who died in December and my pastor who died in November. I miss my old church and I miss Sebastian.

I search: for the fair and right answer, no matter the popularity of the outcome. Doing the right thing will always be the best for all concerned.

I say: some of the funniest, wittiest things sometimes. It's my sarcastic sense of humour that either draws people to me or repels them. I've mentioned this before.

I feel: empowered when I'm wearing a black skirt, white long-sleeved top, pearls with matching earrings, and Quelques Fleur perfume. Nothing can stop me when I have this outfit on.

I've succeed(ed): in losing weight.

I've fail(ed): to keep the weight off.

I dream: that I'll have enough money to sufficiently retire. I didn't start planning and saving until eight years ago so I'm trying to meet certain yearly goals. So far, so good.

I sleep: with about four pillows that always end up behind or below me, a teddy bear I received for my birthday, and a life-sized cutout of Dave Baptista (no, I'm kidding about the teddy bear).

I wonder: what the people who marched and died during the Civil Rights battles would think of our society today.

I want: a car stereo that plays my iPod. I'm saving for December as my Christmas gift to myself.

I worry: about rising healthcare costs and my company's decision to continue to pass more of the costs to me.

I have: been very blessed and highly favoured. I've been up and I've been down, had both good and bad things happen to me, but the ups have never lost to the downs.

I fight: to prevent others from discounting me, either as a woman, a fat woman, a fat, Black woman, a middle-aged fat Black woman. I have to fight because I have nieces who are following behind me and although they have to fight their own way, at least I've paved some of the way for them.

I am: seriously wondering why I'm writing this horribly long meme. It looked cute on the other blog but now that I'm doing it, it's too long! I'm deleting some of these categories.

I love: watching my niece Butterfly sleep. She's so beautiful and serene. It makes me forget how terrible she's going to be when she wakes.

I read: a lot of magazines and websites-Ebony, Essence, Jet, Sports Illustrated, Time, Wired, Vanity Fair, Harper's Bazaar, W, O, Town & Country, Travel & Leisure, Food & Wine, Travel, Figure, Marie Claire, The Economist, Fortune, Businessweek.com.


Blogger Theresa said...

Hi Deb
Thanks for stopping by- actually I just saw this meme for the first time the other day - I think the reason it was so long is they combined a couple weeks the orginal site is

I am glad you have succeeded in losing weight- I devote my thursday blog to that topic-keeping it off was my topic last thursday- which I know all too well
when I read that one.

have a nice weekend

September 29, 2007 10:33 AM  
Blogger Shelby said...

loved this..

p.s. I have a real life video posted today.. come see! :)

September 30, 2007 6:49 AM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Debo, Debo, Debo!
Here all this time I've been telling everyone in the blogsphere what a wonderful lady you are and you turn around and post this MEME with a qualifier to it that you tag no one with it, save maybe me. Evil, pure evil!
I will decline on doing that - well at least in its entirety -mainly because MEMEs of this nature absolutely turn what few brain cells I have that are still functioning into pureed oatmeal - not even the kind with good fiber for the intestines, ya know.

It will also take me a hell of a long time to answer the probes that I think I can handle too so don't look for immediate results.

Oh and by the way -ya know I still love you anyway, don't 'cha? Hope so!

September 30, 2007 7:54 AM  
Blogger Kiyotoe said...

Ooooh, jeni turned you down Big sis' how do you like that?!

I would make you feel better about it but those stinking cowboys won AGAIN and Tony Romo is starting to look like the truth out there.

So I'll let you deal with Jeni's rejection alone......

stupid Bears :-(

October 01, 2007 10:01 AM  
Blogger Maria & Stefano said...

This is great...and I'll tell you a secret...I sleep with a teddy bear as well...;)


October 03, 2007 11:26 AM  
Blogger H said...

Debo, that is the most wonderful "I long to" i've read in a while.

Ooo, and I so want to read that 'other post' about this David Baptista fellow.

I drive agressively and agressively. Damn. I'm such man.

And I'm SO with you on the "i fight". You go girl!

October 05, 2007 12:33 AM  

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