A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Horror Movie-Scene One, Take Two


It was a rainy and stormy evening, good for neither man nor beast. Just my kind of weather.

I absolutely LOVE the rain. Being born and reared in the desert has made me something of a strange 'un. I get no kicks from champagne. Pure alcohol doesn't thrill me at all, but I always get excited about weather changes! Just as some people can find orgasmic glory by eating chocolate, I can reach my peak just looking at three or more dark clouds.

So when my elderly neighbour called, asking me to run a few grocery errands for her tonight I didn't hesitate to go driving in the pouring rain. Unfortunately, all she wanted was a diet drink from the neighbourhood food mart but that didn't stop my zeal. I giddily zoomed off to the food mart with the window rolled down, feeling the cold air slap and sting my cheeks. I should have said cue scary music.

When I got to the store I thought it was closed because of the dark lighting. A dim neon lit blinked "Open" so I went to the door and pulled it open. And I felt it. A foreboding sense of trouble, of pain, of gastric excess. This store was something straight out of a poorly made horror movie. Even the clerk looked like he was auditioning for the part of "Clerk/Killer/Creature". This guy was tall, slim with a face made of marble. He stood and watched me, never blinking, like one of those pictures with the eyes that follow you.

The fact that there was no one else in the store didn't elude me. I couldn't find the soda I was looking for and after having checked several store cases I turned to call and ask him where the diet soda was and there he was, right behind me! I thought I was going to scream, faint or excuse me-fart but I didn't. I asked him where the diet 7-Up was and he reached up and pointed over my head to show me the other display case.

Unfortunately, when he moved like that, I thought he was reaching up to stab me and this time I did fart (sorry) and fell back causing a whole display of chicarrones (pork skins) to tip over. "Hey lady, you crazy or sumpin?" He spit out.

"'I'm sorry!" I stuttered "You scared me!". By this time someone else came into the store so Clerk/Weirdo/Killer kicked some of the bags away and went to help the new customer. I picked up a bag of chicarrones, got the 7-Up and paid. When I got to my car I looked into the store and saw him staring out the window at me. I swear his eyes were glowing red.

12 Comments:

Blogger Jeni said...

Deb, Have you thought of taking up writing? Not just blogging, but "Writing?" You did a really cool job there of describing the scene, emotions, whole nine yards.
And, I think I probably would have turned tail and run if I'd have had someone who looked like that kind of looming over me while looking for an item in the store.
Really good post though - interesting, informative and funny too!

March 23, 2007 8:06 AM  
Blogger Bob Johnson said...

Great post. You're not going all Ryan on me are you....wreaking havoc wherever you go?

March 23, 2007 2:46 PM  
Blogger Debo Blue said...

Jeni-I've always dreamed of writing the Great American Novel, but realized I'm not that passionate and creative. But thanks for the compliment.

Bob-No one but Jerry Lewis is like Ryan although my damage is a whole lot smaller than his, hehehe.

March 23, 2007 4:38 PM  
Blogger Maria & Stefano said...

Hehehe sorry if I'm laughing but I thought it was funny girl!!!

I feel for you...I would have been scared too...

I'm guessing you'll never go back in there hehehe;)

Maria

March 24, 2007 10:24 AM  
Blogger Kiyotoe said...

funny and scary all at the same time? You should definitely do more of this and share it with us.

Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee......

March 24, 2007 2:20 PM  
Blogger fringes said...

Very very funny. You're awesome for running that errand for your neighbor. That just made me love you.

March 24, 2007 4:17 PM  
Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

ha ha ha ha ha, i loved that you admitted to farting!

smiles, bee

March 25, 2007 2:09 PM  
Blogger Meloncutter said...

You farted and admitted to it. I think I am in love.

Probably the best thing you could have done after farting is asking where the oil and flour were kept.

LOL

Good Post. Good Writing.

Later Y'all

March 25, 2007 5:42 PM  
Blogger Blu Jewel said...

OMG! i was rolling when you said you farted...most women hardly admit that.

this read like the making of a nice little horror story...maybe you should keep it going and see what ensues.

March 26, 2007 11:36 AM  
Blogger Debo Blue said...

Maria-nope, never going back.

Dragon-Really, this is an anomaly. Glad you liked it though.

Fringes-"Whatsoever a man soweth..."

Empress-nothing I could do but admit it.

Melon-flour and oil...good one.

Blu-maybe Dragon or Fringes will help. I'm not creative at all.

March 26, 2007 11:45 PM  
Blogger Lizza said...

This is a terrific story! I agree, you have a great way with words, Debo.

And that store clerk sure sounds freaky.

March 28, 2007 6:13 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

Sometimes I feel the world is out to get me...

or I did until I read this post. That was great, and very honest too.

It takes a real woman to admit she farted and tipped over the pig skins while shopping at the local demonized 7-11.

I am officially your newest fan.

March 30, 2007 5:55 AM  

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