Thursday Thirteen #14

THIRTEEN RANDOM THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW

1. After having been dressed by a Vogue columnist (Andre Talley) and being ridiculed and placed on the worst dressed list for the Oscars, do you think either Jennifer Hudson or anyone in Hollywood will trust that magazine again? I wouldn't trust them to dress my dog in a mud wrestling competition.

2. Why do you think the phone rep advised me of my minimum payment due when I had already told her the amount I was paying? Are credit card companies trying to persuade us NOT to pay them off each month by making their reps push the minimum amount due?

3. Where do they find these people for the judge shows and the other talk shows? Do they have secret websites that determine eligibility by the number of missing teeth, how bright your blonde weave is (black girls only) and the number of broken down vehicles in your yard? Seriously, do these shows send people out to certain neighbourhoods scouting out these people?

4. At what point do you realize "Hey, I must suck!" after being declined position after position? I work w/this stupid little man who has interviewed for about 16 jobs and he keeps getting turned down. He always says, the feedback given was weak and not to the point. How about this feedback, "You suck and we're not going to hire you!"

5. Why do people get angry when you ignore their child? If people are sitting next to me and they're holding a baby, I'll ignore the baby, depending on my mood. Sometimes when I do this, the parent will throw mean glances at me. Why? Not everyone wants to coo all over your drooling baby.

6. If people say they're getting divorced are we supposed to be sympathetic or happy? Sometimes I'll say, "I'm sorry" and they'll respond "Don't be, it's a good thing." Or if I say "Hey, had enough of that crap, huh?" They'll respond, "The kids are taking it hard though." What should I do?

7. Can anyone tell me the reason spandex was created? Other than making fat women's legs look like shaking vessels of cottage cheese, what's the real purpose for spandex?

8. Which came first, the Easter bunny or Easter egg? Why isn't there an Easter turkey, hot dog or steak?

9. Why do dentists and their assitants ask open-ended questions while drilling in your mouth? Do they really think we can answer?

10. The same for gynecologists. Do they actually think we want to talk about the weather or our busy schedules when they're pushing instruments into our bodies?

11. Do you ever wonder about the world we're going to leave our children and grand children?

12. I'm glad Jake Plummer's gone from the Broncos. I've never liked that snarky, creeping crawling excuse for a guy. He should fall right in line with Jon "Chucky" Gruden, another snarky, cave-dwelling ignoramus.

13. My family and I were getting professional portraits done and the group behind us, a bunch of sorority girls, was waiting to use the dressing room area. One of the girls rudely shouted at us to hurry up, causing the photographer and his assistants to try and calm her down. I rudely retorted, "Go eat a cheeseburger and by the time you're done throwing it up we should be done!" That shut her skinny mouth and I could see the photographer grinning as he adjusted his camera. He even gave me a complimentary head shot:-)