A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

My Selfish Self

Most of you know that I recently celebrated my birthday because I posted that news here. What I didn't post was that I sent a birthday 'wish list' to give potential gift-givers direction on what "to give the girl who has everything."

It's a little "tongue-in-cheek" list that includes everything from AAA batteries to a sapphire/diamond bracelet. From a year's subscription to the WSJ to Fixaflat. From cologne sold exclusively at Neiman's (Quelques Fleur) to a Target gift certificate.

I've probably sent this list out every year for about eight or nine years as a joke that somehow metamorphed into a ritual. Nowadays my friends start asking about the list as early as May, because they expect to receive it. And of all the items on my 'wish list' over the years, the one item that gets the most attention is my request for batteries. I keep telling people that I'm still using the original model of Gameboy which requires AAA batteries. How should I have known most of my friends are pervs?

One thing that never fails is even though someone's received the list, they take it upon themselves to buy something not on the list because they think I'll enjoy it/need it/want it. What generally happens is me returning or re-gifting unwanted stuff, which leads to my dilemma: am I wrong for returning gifts?
I return gifts, whether directly to the gift-giver with a profusion of apologies and explanations on why I don't want/need/or won't enjoy their gift. My mother and sister think I'm the most selfish, ungrateful person they've ever shared a home with but I feel I'm doing the best for all concerned parties. I'm allowing the giver to get his/her money refunded and I'm not stuck w/some ugly-a$$ed porcelain trinket. I've even been known to talk people out of buying me things only because they've told me what they're planning to give.

Over the years I've returned a lot of stuff directly to the giver. The most memorable are:
-gift certificate to an adult bookstore
-handmade afgan covered in three layers of cat hair
-sexy lingerie so small it fit like a thong...on my foot
-a two piece linen outfit complete w/a hemline border of green donkeys
-USB cup warmer

There you have it. I've bared myself to you. But before you pass judgement, what do you do with unwanted gifts?


Blogger Dave said...

Put them, in a closet, under a counter, or "lose" them if the subject of where they are and I can't remember that I got them comes up or put them on the mantle or on a visible shelf, even though I don't like them because the giver will be over and notice that they are no longer on a shelf or the mantle and figure it, whatever the hell it is,has been put in a closet, under a counter or lost.

One of my favorite, absolutely useless gifts? Barney Rubble slippers. I don't wear slippers and haven't since I was a kid. One of my nieces gave me a pair for Christmas some years ago. They currently reside just to the left of the door to the walk-in closet, on the floor where slippers belong. I smile most times that I notice them.

July 27, 2007 4:22 PM  
Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hey i kinda of like the linen thingy with the donkeys on the hem! ha ha... honey you have some funny gift givers i must say!

we usually don't do gifts for birthdays, the grandchildren get cash, which they like and the others get cards. but i like cake!

smiles, bee

July 27, 2007 7:13 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Since the only people who give me any type of gifts are my kids, and one of those three lives here with me and knows explicitly what I actually may "need," the other two will generally confer with her first. Sometimes they will ask me directly and if so, the first item on my list is ALWAYS "A winning lottery ticket for big, big buck or a Winnebago wagon." After that, my gift list is really quite simple - either a gift certificate to Barnes & Noble or Joann Fabrics or a specific book I may have mentioned I'd like to have. That, plus the fact all three of my kids are usually flat broke and have no extra coins to buy presents with anyway. Sometimes, poverty does have benefits. LOL

July 27, 2007 8:12 PM  
Blogger Meloncutter said...

What is a USB cup warmer. Is that a thingy to heat up a bra cup for Uber Sized Boobs?

Just wondering.

Later Y'all.

July 31, 2007 5:19 AM  
Blogger Maria & Stefano said...

I prefer to know that I'm giving something that is very much wanted to someone...so no I don't think you're selfish...

I gotta say sometimes I "regift" hahaha I know it's bad...but if I have no way to give it back or it doesn't work for me I prefer to give it to someone I know that will enjoy it!!!

July 31, 2007 12:21 PM  
Blogger Kiyotoe said...

to be honest, if i get a gift that i don't like/need/or want, it just sits here in the house somewhere. Too ashamed to "regift" and too scared to throw it away (in case said gift giver ever asks to see it). All of that amounts to....CLUTTER. But usually i'll find some good use for whatever it is.

p.s. - i was really hurt when you gave back the gift card to the "Who's Your Daddy" bookstore. I really thought you'd like it. :(

August 01, 2007 7:38 AM  
Blogger sarala said...

I once got a pair of bear foot shaped slippers. They were so wide I had trouble walking in them and made my feet sweat too much but since my baby brother got them for me and they were a great conversation piece I left them lying around for years.
I don't have the guts to regift or return.
The worst gift I ever got was a glass paperweight with a face on it entitled "Mr. Bill". It was a wedding gift from a relative and I have to believe they had gotten it from someone else. Even that I still have in a box somewhere, always a laugh, never to be displayed.

August 05, 2007 5:10 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Talk to me Debo.

August 06, 2007 3:13 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Okay Debo - It's been two weeks now without a post. Where are you? Are you ok? Or, just working all the time! You need to stop and report in now and again -I have enough to worry about what kind of problems my son is getting himself into; don't want to have to worry all the time about you too, ya know!

August 09, 2007 8:26 AM  

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