A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #7


Here we go, back to routine and hopefully no more deaths to shake me up. The great thing about returning to routine is it's comfortable, peaceful and NORMAL. Last week I traveled to Boise to celebrate the homegoing of my aunt. While there I had some experiences that have changed me, perhaps forever.

1. There are some responsibilities that I will have to undertake because I'm not a kid anymore and no one else is able to handle them as well as I can. I have become my aunt as she was 20 years ago which is why she was so adamant with me to accept a responsible lifestyle.

2. Keep a living will updated and within easy reach. Make sure the family knows and understands your wishes.

3. Buy a funeral/burial plan.

4. It's not about me and my mother or my family, her death is between herself and God alone. The reason she wasn't healed is not ours to question. We can ponder it and wonder but only God can answer this because He knows where she was. Just like He knows where I am, right now.

5. It is totally acceptable to laugh through a three hour funeral. That's the celebratory part, she was a jokester and prankster. It's okay to laugh, she would find something to laugh about if she were still here.

6. Don't let it be four years seeing my folks. It's time for me to start planning family outings, etc to bring us together for reasons other than funerals.

7. I'm not as cowardly as I thought and telling off some folks is good for MY mental and physical well-being. So the next time foolishness shows up it will know that I'm prepared to address it, head first.

8. Always call the airline to see if they will refund the extra seat if the flight's not oversold. If not, fly Southwest.

9. It felt good stepping back and allowing my brother to take the lead and take care of some things. He's really grown up. But so have I.

10. I've got to keep a closer eye on my mother's health and start keeping better track of her doctor's visits. I'm thinking about joining her for her next appointment and asking the doctor to schedule her for some tests that she hasn't had. Boy oh boy the hair on the back of her neck's going to rise higher than Brittney Spears' skirts.

11. Even though we didn't feel like celebrating Christmas and New Years, it is still important that children be allowed to enjoy opening gifts and having fun. A group of adults sitting around sipping tea and crying is not fair to the children. They will experience the pain of death soon enough. Let them enjoy life now.

12. A burial at sunset, in a cementary set on a high hill is very beautiful and shouldn't be interrupted by the flash from a camera. It was freezing and we all grouped together for warmth and as the preacher was reciting the Scripture I looked at the sunset and thought, "Oh Aunt Grat, this is the last sunset you'll be a part of and it's so beautiful!" Then bozo cousins and friends jarred me out of my solitude by snapping pictures. Stop!

13. My family values my opinions and seeks my advice. This is both humbling and frightening. I think I'm ready to take on some of Grat's responsibilities.


Blogger Blu Jewel said...

#7 is absolutely fabulous! Say it again; say it again. This attitude is one i plan to exercise greatly as i've been in the habit of sparring other hurt feelings, while having mine hurt. Screw that!

My condolences on your aunt's passing. she sounds like she was a wonderful woman and i'm sure her memories will live on forever.

Be blessed!

January 04, 2007 6:08 PM  
Blogger sarala said...

This is a beautiful and meaningful TT. You put us all to shame. Condolences again on the passing of your aunt.
I hope 2007 brings you much happiness and peace.

January 04, 2007 6:43 PM  
Blogger Skittles said...

Despite the sadness that always surrounds the death of a loved one I can see your inner strength and faith shining through in ever single word.

January 04, 2007 7:19 PM  
Blogger East of Oregon said...

Fabulous list :)

January 04, 2007 8:21 PM  

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