Well, I've Never...but Maybe One Day I Will
Found this over at Blu's who stole it from someone else. I was gonna make comments on Blu's blog but decided to just steal the theme outright (of course I did warn Sister Blu that I was stealing). So, even though I scored a measley 85 on her Misgivings list, here are some additional things I've never done.
I've never lied on my timesheet at work (why get fired for something so menial? Cuss somebody out, pimp-slap a boss. Don't get fired for little stuff)!
I've never gotten a speeding ticket (doesn't mean I don't occassionally speed. Just means I manage my time most days).
I've never lied on my taxes (Wesley Snipes, Ronald Isley, Leona Helms, Frank Gotti. 'Nuff said).
I've never liked the Pittsburgh Steelers (since the days of Roger Staubach and Terry what's his name).
I've never liked basketball (that's not sport! Football is the real deal y'all!).
I've never understood the fascination with golf (real skill is trying to get that ball to the other end of the field by going through or around 17 guys bigger than you).
I've never wanted to be supermodel thin (I've always wanted thick thighs, a round butt and breasts that jiggle when I moved. Unfortunately I have four thighs, two round butts and breasts that wobble when I move).
I've never cursed in or on a churchyard (where is the respect for the house of God?).
I've never been to a bar and ordered drinks.
I've never had a threesome (don't want one either).
I've never liked Linda Ronstadt (unless she's singing Mariachi).
I've never liked Italian food (spaghetti cooked by black people is soooo different).
I've never stolen money from my brothers or sisters or my mom.
I've never abused an animal (my mother warned us God would punish us for abusing a helpless animal).
I've never liked the show "Girlfriends" (especially bug-eyed Tracy Ellis. PS-why does she use her mom's last name rather than her real name of Ellis? Trading in on the name?).
I've never watched "American Idol" (except when I watched Ruben v. Clay).
3 Comments:
Debo - your never list is interesting. Your ref to yourself is indicative of someone who's secure in knowing who she is. Kudos for that. Funny, I never like the show "Girlfriends" either. I've watched it from time to time to moreso try to understand it, but can't say it made my "have to watch" list.
From Blu...I guess blogger beta isn't allowing those who aren't using beta to post...sux
"four thighs, two round butts and breasts that wobble when I move" - you are too silly.
And i'm so glad that I'm not the only one that thinks "whats-her-name" has bug eyes. She creeps me out.
And you've never hit your younger siblings pggy bank while he was asleep. Pssshhh....that's easy money girl.
I feel so ashamed right now.
I can so relate to the four thighs, etc. It really hit home on my obesity when I realized the weight I need to lose is probably more than my 25 year old daughter weighs!
Basketball to me is just a bunch of sweaty guys with their arms in the air with stinky armpits.
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