Roll It! Don't Squeeze It!

I know how to find out if a person has the potential to become a stark raving, mad, lunatic who savagely beats his/her family to death.

I have not taken classes to discover these traits, I have not watched hour upon hour of T.V. to help identify the usual suspects. Neither have I studied police or therapist's reports on the subject. How am I, a mere mortal able to do this without any formal instruction or training? Simple. I share a home with people who squeeze, rather than roll the toothpaste tube.

My brother and sister, the two that have recently moved in with me, are making me crazy because every morning I have to reform the plastic tube that holds the whitening, breath-freshening, plaque-eliminating essence which is toothpaste.

I used to tease my then boyfriend that he must be stressed alot because his tube of toothpaste looked as if he had taken all frustration out on it because it was so horribly bent out of shape. Back then, I wish I had some prophecy that the way he treated his tube would be the way he thought he would treat me. Luckily for me, and unfortunately for him I was not going to be squeezed, pinched and roughly handled. A few bruises and carefully aimed scratches to his face taught him that, but I digress.

I used to believe that people who squeezed their tubes were ultimately able to kill a whole family of kittens, boil rabbits alive and shop at Cabela's. Now I know better. Living w/my brother and sister again after so many years apart and having to re-form the tube every morning is sending me down a dangerous path.

So, in an effort to reduce starting each morning too stressed to be blessed, I have purchased my own toothpaste with explicit and clear instructions that if it is squeezed, even a bit, the whole tube will be force fed to the guilty culprit.

Now excuse me dear readers. I have to find directions to the nearest Cabela's. There's some stuff I've been wanting to buy.