A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Roll It! Don't Squeeze It!


I know how to find out if a person has the potential to become a stark raving, mad, lunatic who savagely beats his/her family to death.

I have not taken classes to discover these traits, I have not watched hour upon hour of T.V. to help identify the usual suspects. Neither have I studied police or therapist's reports on the subject. How am I, a mere mortal able to do this without any formal instruction or training? Simple. I share a home with people who squeeze, rather than roll the toothpaste tube.

My brother and sister, the two that have recently moved in with me, are making me crazy because every morning I have to reform the plastic tube that holds the whitening, breath-freshening, plaque-eliminating essence which is toothpaste.

I used to tease my then boyfriend that he must be stressed alot because his tube of toothpaste looked as if he had taken all frustration out on it because it was so horribly bent out of shape. Back then, I wish I had some prophecy that the way he treated his tube would be the way he thought he would treat me. Luckily for me, and unfortunately for him I was not going to be squeezed, pinched and roughly handled. A few bruises and carefully aimed scratches to his face taught him that, but I digress.

I used to believe that people who squeezed their tubes were ultimately able to kill a whole family of kittens, boil rabbits alive and shop at Cabela's. Now I know better. Living w/my brother and sister again after so many years apart and having to re-form the tube every morning is sending me down a dangerous path.

So, in an effort to reduce starting each morning too stressed to be blessed, I have purchased my own toothpaste with explicit and clear instructions that if it is squeezed, even a bit, the whole tube will be force fed to the guilty culprit.

Now excuse me dear readers. I have to find directions to the nearest Cabela's. There's some stuff I've been wanting to buy.

9 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

Baking Soda is the solution. I grew up a squeezer.

Now, soak the brush, sprinkle, and rub away. Does clump a bit; and, that early in the morning, some ends up on the vanity. That can be a plus, as it serves as a cleaning abrasive for the fake marble.

May 10, 2007 4:57 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

By the way, I left a comment on No. 100 but it never appeared. Congratulations, less elegantly phrased than the first time around.

May 10, 2007 5:00 PM  
Blogger Maria & Stefano said...

Hehehe I just love the way your write!!!

M.

May 10, 2007 5:14 PM  
Blogger Debo Blue said...

Dave-When I was a girl we ran out of toothpaste and my mom made a concoction of baking soda for us to use. Another reason I'm an avid fan of toothpaste.

Thanks for the not seen post.

Maria-I just love the way you're gonna be famous and I'll be able to say I knew you when.

May 10, 2007 5:24 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Hmmm - very interesting analogy there Debo on the toothpaste - squeeze vs roll. I squeeze the tube but start at the bottom and work my way up as opposed to just squeezing it randomly. Am I a partial squeeze/roller maybe?

Thanks for the 7 things too - good ones, girlfriend! Pretty neat especially on the trip to Paris!

May 11, 2007 7:53 AM  
Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i just use those little containers now, not tubes, and i put them upside down on the counter and presto, instant toothpaste!

smiles, bee

May 11, 2007 10:35 AM  
Blogger Singing Owl said...

Jeni told me to come look at this post after what I said about toothpaste yesterday over at my place. LOL!

EB of the HS is right. Get the new kind. That is what my husband did, so HE did not go stark, raving mad.

May 12, 2007 11:45 AM  
Blogger Kiyotoe said...

i used to be one of those people (kids) that didn't know the difference or the big deal about squeezing. But now?

Ugghh, i'm with you. I can't get the Counselor or Nizz to "roll" for nothing. They're killin' me Big Sis :)

May 15, 2007 7:08 AM  
Blogger sarala said...

I don't like squeezers either (husband and both sons). Plus I'm stingy, they use up the toothpaste too fast. I'd prefer not to share the stuff either.
Funny.

May 17, 2007 5:11 PM  

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