A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Crime Fighter

There were reports that a Peeping Tom was in our neighbourhood, all women were warned to close their blinds and curtains to preserve privacy. Most of my neighbours, especially the women, were startled at first, because we have a pretty quiet neighbourhood. As more and more neighbours began to report being spied on, that nervousness began to turn into fear. I knew that I would have to do something to help my neighbours and my family. And I'd have to do something soon.
It was a surefire plan, one that could not fail. I would be the "unwitting victim" and trap Mr. Tom and I set about my plan with glee. I did feel a little guilty, like the fat cat in a classic cat & mouse game but the euphoric high I received from the all the planning drove all guiltiness from my heart.
Thursday night the plan went into action. I came in late one night and went straight to my room. I had left the blinds open during the day and 'casually' forgot to close them when I came home.
I lighted a few candles, big ones that give off a good, sensuous light.
Next, I left to shower and re-entered my room some 15 minustes later, ready to begin my evening ministrations. Suddenly I heard a slight rustling outside my window. At first I thought I had imagined it but I heard it again. Smiling to myself, I began making a show of choosing the body lotion I'd put on (I should own stock in Bath & Body Works).
Finally, deciding on my fave-Moonlight Path- I went to my bed and began applying the lotion to my legs, lifting my bathrobe higher with each application. My position on the bed was in direct line to anyone looking outside my window and the faint sound I was hearing indicated someone indeed was there. Good, right on plan.
I began lotioning my thighs completly moving my bathrobe higher, allowing me free access to my thighs when the groaning began. As I slathered my lotion on my thighs I moved up to my stomach, again opening the bathrobe and exposing my stomach. Now the moans were clearly audible. By simulating that I was still lotioning my stomach I dialed my sister, waiting in the other room. That was our signal that the culprit was outside and to call 911.
Soon, the moans turned into a thrashing noise of some sort, as if someone had fallen and were trying to make a hasty exit. Closing my robe I rushed to the window and looked out but could see no one.
The next morning, our neighbour Mona came and told us that the police think they had caught Mr. Tom about a block away lying in a fetal position moaning over and over "Make her close the blinds! Make her close the blinds!" No one could tell what he was talking about but the cops think he had seen something so awful that it temporarily thrust him into a frightened state.
My work here is done.


Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

bwahahahahahahah......... funny girl!

smiles, bee

May 19, 2007 6:24 AM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Debo - You, of all people, suckering in your readers like that! You've been reading Bob Johnson's stuff too long now - starting to act a bit like him too now!

But that was really a neat piece and I almost dropped the Clark Bar I was munching on in my lap and would have had chocolate imbedded in my shorts if that would have happened!

May 19, 2007 6:26 AM  
Blogger Kiyotoe said...

now all you need is a crimefighting "alias".

Super Big Sis?


May 19, 2007 1:20 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Blind? How'd he get a block away that fast?

May 19, 2007 2:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You little minx....and you accuse moi of being provacative!

May 19, 2007 10:52 PM  
Blogger Maria & Stefano said...

Heehehehe you're are THE best!!!


May 20, 2007 10:24 AM  
Blogger Blu Jewel said...

OMG! That was frikkin hilarious lady. I love your proactive stand and your ability to foil the perp. You should get a civic award for your work. ^5

May 21, 2007 6:46 AM  
Blogger Kiyotoe said...

I tagged you for a little somethin' somethin'. Check it out.

May 21, 2007 7:39 PM  
Blogger sarala said...

I sure hope this was fiction. Be well.

May 24, 2007 5:25 PM  

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