A Blue State of Mind

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." Oprah

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Location: The Western U.S, United States

I spent 48 years caring about what people thought of me. I'm not spending the rest of my life caring about that anymore!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Two Pictures

Has it really been almost nine months since I blogged? Wow! This is what happens when Facebook becomes a habitual, time-consuming, guilty habit. The need or desire for slowly and deliberately pecking out feelings, emotions and events has been replaced with instant connection to friends and family. This is my personal retreat far from the Madding crowd, so to speak.

I was catching up on my Twitter feeds and read one of my follower's comments that she hadn't blogged as much as she had Facebooked in a while and I remembered this blog and wondered whether it was stil open or had been shut down. Imagine my surprise that it's still here AND I still remembered the password.

Everyone who follows me here follows me on FB but most of my FB don't know I used to blog. Too much personal stuff I don't want them to know about me. And what I don't want floating around the blogosphere I keep in my leather bound journals given by my good friend James.

Something else that made me think about this blog was emailing pictures of Butterfly to my BFF Pete. This is her first week of kindergarten and I wanted him to see her all dressed and coiffed and fearlessly ready to leave her mom behind and go to school. I had asked her the night before if she were scared or nervous. Not this one! Butterfly was ready and more than eager to go and meet her new teacher.

Somewhere, there is a picture or painting of a little black girl all dressed for her first day of school. The difference between that little girl and Butterfly is that little girl's eyes are not sparking with excitement. Her face is not beaming with smiles and the errant skip or hop is not a part of her actions. That little girl's face is downcast and her face is shadowed by images of uniformed men in front and in back of her marching her up the steps of the school.

How brave her parents were, allowing her the chance to knock down segregation but I wonder if her parents were able to sleep the night before or were they up periodically pacing back and forth, wondering whether they had made the right decision. Did the mother give in and cry during the night? Did she get up and pray whether she should reconsider?

Those two pictures are juxtapositions of each other, and they stand to remind me of how far we've come as a Black people and a Nation. Perhaps I shouldn't make this a race thing although that's what it was back then. I have two cousins who are autistic. It used to be they were not allowed to attend public schools or were relegated to "the special little bus". But this year Daniel began his first year as a high school sophomore and his brother Shaun his first year of public school too.

I'm so proud of them. I'm proud of us as a Nation even with all this crap going on now. I'm proud of that little girl and her parents. I only wish I knew the picture/painting I'd post it as a promise to my niece and cousins.


Blogger Jeni said...

Do you know what a treat it is to read a post here by you? Yes, it has been a long time, waiting in the wings for you to gather up your thoughts and put them down into words, but Baby, I've been here, all along, waiting patiently for at least an occasional return visit here by you.
And what great words you put down here today! I'd be willing to bet that other little girl's parents probably were nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof and then some back then, just as most every parent today has a lot of trepidations with that first day of kindergarten for the children of today. How well I recall how on Maya's very first day in her special Pre-school -yes, Pre-school -classes -her Mom and I along with good old Uncle Clayton -gathered out front to meet the van and her driver and get her settled into the car seat and see her off on that particular "first" day -the first of many "firsts" ya know for her! And as she smiled sweetly and waved to us, we waved back and then, retreated into the house to share some coffee with our tears! And that would have to be much less frightening, much less threatening, that a first day in an integrated school within a segregated society! Sure, there are parallels there but thankfully, ours was not one filled with the potential of extreme danger as were the other circumstances.
And, as to Butterfly -my goodness, she's off to school now, already? It seems like just yesterday you were posting things with her photo on here and she was just a wee little toddler on them and well, I guess I was just assuming she'd always kind of stay that way, ya know. (I know -never should assume anything, huh?)
Here's hoping Butterfly has an absolutely awesome experience with her entry into the education system! Who knows but maybe she will be the leader of the pack!

August 22, 2011 4:05 PM  
Blogger Debo Blue said...

It broke my heart to see how happy she was going off that first day. But time keeps marching forward right?

August 23, 2011 10:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great to see you bloggin again!

Blessings of peace to you and your family,


October 27, 2011 2:31 AM  

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